BIRDMAN!

So this post goes out to our good friend Eric. Even though he is on his mission right now I know that he knows that I know that what I am about to write is true doctrine. Anyway, this is the true doctrine of The Birdman. The Birdman is an ongoing game of honor. Once someone learns the rules of Birdman, they must continually abide by these rules or they have no honor (Teddy…). Throughout this post I will explain these rules and show you the signs of the Bird so you too can participate in the Birdman and get your friends and family in on the Birdman. Some of the terms that I may be using are just made up by me. I’m sure that they have some specific names, but I am writing this for fun, not to be specific.

The Rules of the Game:
1) If a player looks at another player who is in birdman position, that player must lie down on the ground, flat on his or her back, regardless of the location, situation, or any inconveniences.
2) If a player throws the block sign in the air before looking at another player who is in birdman position, he or she has successfully blocked the birdman attempt, and does not have to lie down on the ground.
3) If Player A watches Player B get into birdman position with the intentions of birdmanning Player A, Player A does not have to lie down on the ground.
4) Any player who has successfully been birdmanned has a total of 3 steps before he or she must lay down.
5) Any player who refuses to go to the ground after a successful birdman will be suspended from play indefinitely. Multiple penalities will lead to expulsion from the game for life.
6) When two people birdman each other simultaneously, both will cancel out and nobody goes down. We call this the "Forget and Move On" policy.
7) When 2 people birdman 1 person who is already in birdman position, the 1 person must go down once (same goes for 3 v 2, 4 v 3, etc. attacks).
8) When a driver is birdmanned, he must get down at the first possible stop.
9) Birdmans may be stacked based on time. Meaning, that if a person is birdmanned once and does not lay down right away they may be stacked at intervals of 5 seconds ground time per Birdman with a max at 45 seconds. To put it plainly, a person may be birdmanned up to 9 times before they lay down once.
10) When a person looks at himself in birdman position in the mirror or at his own birdman drawing, he must get down. This is referred to as "suicide."
11) Peripharals (periphs) are legal if used honestly to detect an attack. Abuse of periphs will result in banishment from the game.
12) The right to birdman shall not be denied on the basis of race, skin color, gender, or age.

So, now that you know the rules of Birdman, you must respect your honor and play. Get your friends to play, get you family to play, get anyone to play. But, if you see the Birdman, you know what to do.

Now for some funny stories of Birdman as found in our group here at BYU.

The only people that I have heard of to Birdman people on campus (you know, like during school hours) are Eric and me. We each have birdmanned each other while on campus. Not at the same time, but different times in fact. It was quite entertaining.

We were first taught Birdman by Eric over the summer and now nearly everyone that we meet has been taught the game. Now there is a delicate topic about if pictures are legal or not…well, the majority will say no it is not legal, but there are some (like Eric) who believe that pictures are okay. For example, he tells a story of his friend who got birdmanned by a billboard in Spain. So, I will leave the picture rule up to the digression of the viewers of this post.

Eric was the Elder’s Quorum instructor at his ward in the Fall and one day when he was teaching we decided to pull the greatest thing ever! We birdmanned him while sitting basically right next to the bishop. He saw us only on the last time we tried and took his 3 steps and made it to his chair once he was done with his lesson. He was able to lay down after the meeting was over and explained to everyone around him what he was doing. Then after his farewell talk we birdmanned him while he was saying hello to everyone who came to see him. He didn’t move again until he was done saying hi to everyone so he could lay down with not a lot of people around.

Well, since I have been told that my posts are too long…I shall end here. There aren't a whole lot of epic Birdman stories anyway...but I would like to leave one last thought with you. If ever, you find yourself thinking about what you could possibly do to make someone’s life more enjoyable, just remember these five words. “The bird is the word…” That is all. Have a good night!